Moments
by Jellyfax
Summary: A little Destiel fic for a friend - It's a big day and Dean reminisces about when he first realised that he loved Castiel.


**This is a little oneshot for my friend Sophie on her 21****st****! Some fluffy fluff for you! Destiel with a smattering of Sabriel.**

**Listen to Emeli Sande "Wonder" with this and then Rolling Stones "Wild Horses" when appropriate (you'll know when)**

Dean scuffed his shoes against the red carpet and cracked his knuckles

"Dean, stop stressing, you'll be fine."

Dean looked up at Sam who was standing next to him, he smiled weakly and shrugged, "It's just been so long coming, I never thought we'd ever get here"

Sam grinned, slapped him on the back and laughed, "You can say that again, do you know how long we knew before you did?"

Dean blushed to think back to that time, there were so many close calls, so many times he had almost admitted to himself how he felt but he had been so in denial. When he had first confessed his feelings to Sam he had laughed and told him that he had been so far into his closet he was knee deep in snow. When Dean finally got the reference he had hit Sam square in the face.

It was true though, everyone had told him, both subtly and … not so … he glanced over at Balthazar and Gabriel standing opposite them, they were both dressed in white suits with blue cravats. Gabriel ran his fingers through his gold hair and grinned when he saw Dean watching him. Dean chewed his lip and looked down, smoothing out his own suit, he and Sam were in black but wore the same matching blue cravats. The white and black colour scheme had been Gabriel's idea and it _did_look pretty good but the blue had been his choice. All it had taken was a comment he had made to Sam in the tailors, but as soon as the words had left his mouth Sam had picked the colour and that was final. It was just the right blue, the colour of Castiel's eyes.

Dean smiled as he thought of his angel's eyes, the way they were so sombre most of the time, but when he smiled his whole face lit up, his eyes bright and full of life and … it had taken Dean a while to work out what the 'and' was but it wasn't long after their first kiss that he realised what it was.

He and Cas had had their first 'moment' in Purgatory. They had been trudging through the unending forest, running from Leviathan, werewolves, vampires and every other _thing _his nightmares could have ever conjured. Benny had gone hunting for supplies leaving Dean and Cas alone.

_"Dean, you should go after Benny."_

_Dean looked at him and frowned, "No, Cas, not this again."_

_"Dean I'm serious, the Leviathan want me, not you, it's far more dangerous for you to stay with me."_

_Dean had felt a growl grow low in his chest as he turned to face the angel, "Are you fucking with me Cas? I'm not leaving you here! We came here together, we are leaving together!"_

_Cas cocked his head to the side and looked at him sadly, sighing he shook his head, "You are stubborn Dean, more stubborn than any human I have ever met." He looked Dean straight in the eye, blue piercing into green with that familiar intensity and … there was the 'and' again, that emotion Dean couldn't quite place._

_Keeping eye contact Dean smirked, "All part of my charm."_

_Instead of chuckling and rolling his eyes Cas was stony faced, "Dean Winchester you are unbelievable, you just don't understand."_

_Dean frowned again narrowed his eyes, "Understand what Cas?"_

_"You seem so ready to throw your life away but I can't accept that, you are very important to me, I'd rather die a thousand times before I let you die again."_

_"No Cas, there's your problem right there, you would die for me, have died for me! Even after everything I've done, everything you've done you still think I'm worth saving, and I don't get it! You have gone to such stupid lengths to keep my soul safe and I don't want you to do that anymore! I won't let you! I can't lose you again!"_

_Dean hadn't realised they had been shouting, and was even less aware that they were now standing only inches apart, he was so angry at the stupid son of a bitch. His pulse was racing and his hand was twitching, he just wasn't sure if he wanted to hit him or hug him. His eyes glanced over the angel's lips, he swallowed hard. Cas' expression softened and he shook his head._

_"Ok Dean."_

_Dean snapped out of the trance he had been in and looked straight back into the blue pools Cas had for eyes, "Ok?"_

_"Ok."_

That was the last moment they had had alone before they found the way out, before things had all fallen apart.

**_spn-spn-spn-spn_**

Sam looked at Dean sitting on the front pew, his legs shaking nervously. Seeing him this bervous should have made him nervous as well, but knowing why made him warm inside. Dean and Cas had been through so much and for so long they danced around each other and the feelings they had, but they had finally found a middle ground and they could finally be together. Of course Sam knew long before they did, in fact, just about everybody knew before they did. Sam had his hunches but it was after Dean's stint in Purgatory that it dawned on him. Sam had never seen Dean the kind of mess he had been after losing Cas again. He wouldn't talk about him, every time he heard his name the look of pain on his face was too much for Sam to take. It wasn't until Cas came back that things started to look up for his brother. At first it had been difficult, Dean had a lot of guilt built up from Purgatory but being with Cas soothed that, the first time Dean had smiled after that year apart had been with Cas. While it made Sam sad that he was no longer the closest person to Dean it made him happy to see his brother happy. Sam could remember the first time he had noticed the two have a 'moment'.

They were in Oklahoma and researching strange cartoon mishaps, he had gone out to ask around leaving Dean and Castiel alone in the motel. When he came back Dean and Cas were sitting opposite each other on the beds, he couldn't see Dean's face but Cas was looking intensely at him almost as if he were on the verge of tears. Dean shifted his hands forwards, Cas leaned in a little closer, the door creaked. When they heard the door Cas had jumped up all too enthusiastic to hear about his recent exploits and ideas. Sam had always wondered if things would have happened more quickly if he had spent an extra five minutes in that coffee shop…

**_spn-spn-spn-spn_**

_That second 'moment' in the motel … Dean sighed and wrung his hands … he had wanted so badly to take Castiel's hand, to hold him, to tell him that everything was going to be ok, that he wasn't a bad person and that he would never let him harm himself. That was the first time he was confronted with feelings that couldn't just be brushed of as brotherly. He had wanted to brush his hand over his angel's face, anything to make that forlorn look disappear from his eyes._

_The third time they had just got back from hunting a particularly vicious coven of witches in North Carolina, Dean had been hurt pretty badly and Cas had to use all his strength to heal him._

_Cas had been standing with his hand hovering over the witches' carving on Dean's chest for over an hour, there had been little improvement. Dean had been slipping in and out of consciousness, every time he woke up his angel was looked more and more haggard. It was around 3am when he had woken to see Cas shaking and swaying slightly._

_Dean licked his lips dryly, "Cas…"_

_Cas looked up, his eyes bright but tired, "Dean! I'm sorry, I'm not as strong as I used to be, this is taking longer than I expected."_

_"Cas how long have you been standing there, you look like you could collapse at any second. Where's Sam?"_

_Castiel swayed violently, Dean grabbed his arm to steady him, "He went to get something to eat"_

_Dean frowned, he was avoiding the question._

_"Sit down, Cas."_

_"I shouldn't Dean, I have to continue or the poison could still kill you. I need my hand on the wound."_

_Dean looked at him for a second, he had dark stubble on his chin, he had large bags under his eyes and his suit was still dirty and crumpled from earlier. The hunter sighed._

_"Cas, lie down next to me."_

_His eyes met confused blue, "But, I thought that counted as personal space."_

_Dean laughed and winced in pain, "To be honest, personal space isn't my top priority at the moment."_

_He shuffled over to one side of the bed and Castiel tentatively lay down next to him. He rested his head against Dean's shoulder and placed his hand on his bare chest. Dean flinched slightly but relaxed as a cool sensation flowed over his feverish skin, he let his arm slip around the angel's neck and rest on his back._

_That's how Sam found them, Dean fast asleep with an exhausted angel draped over him._

Dean smiled at that memory, he loved sleeping with Castiel like that, even though Cas didn't sleep he felt at peace, like they were the only people in the world and nothing else mattered.

**_spn-spn-spn-spn_**

Gabriel walked up behind Sam and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, Moose! Jitters much?"

Sam jumped slightly, turning to look Gabriel. He smiled, sometimes he thought he could lose himself in the liquid amber of his eyes, they were always so warm.

He coughed and blushed a little, "Hey Gabe, yeah he can't stop fidgeting" he beamed down at the angel, his vessel was far shorter than Sam was, not that that was difficult given how tall he was.

Gabriel smiled back, it was more of a smirk really, Sam soon discovered why. The archangel looked up and raised an eyebrow before looking back at Sam hungrily. The hunter looked up and groaned, directly above the two men was one of the many branches of mistletoe that decorated the room, while there were a few dotted around, Sam was fairly sure this one had been mojo'd.

"Well then Sammy boy? What dya think?

**_spn-spn-spn-spn_**

Dean looked up just in time to see something that would definitely require some eyebleach later. His brother had cupped the archangel's face in one hand and was kissing him tenderly. He knew the mistletoe was going to be a bad idea, but Cas had wanted it, he said it reminded him of their first kiss. That was why they had decided on December, the first time Dean really realised what that 'and' was.

_Dean had been stressing out, he couldn't stop thinking about Castiel. Not just in the we-went-to-hell-and-purgatory-and-back-together thoughts. He thought about his eyes, the brilliant blue gems, always so cool and calm and full of life, he thought about his wry smile, the way he cocked his head to the side like a puppy when he was confused, the way his eyebrows knit together when he was confused. It was all getting too much, he felt like a lovesick teenage girl and what made it worse was that he was lovesick over an angel, an angel whose job it was to protect him. Cas freaked out around women, he wouldn't be interested in him, he was a guy, a screwed up, emotionally unstable, fuck-up of a guy._  
_He and Sam had been planning a proper Christmas for Cas, they has commandeered Bobby's house, they had presents, a tree, even Christmas dinner, not that Cas would eat much since he didn't need to eat. Dean wanted to get it right but he was so distracted, even Sam could see there was something up._

_"Dean, is there anything you want to talk about?"_

_Dean looked up at his brother, he would totally freak if he found out but he wanted to get it off his chest so badly._

_"Yeah actually, but can we talk about it later, I want to get this finished" he gestured to the lights he was untangling for the tree. Sam rolled his eyes, this had been going on for far too long._

_It took another couple of hours before the tree was ready, by which time Sam was in the kitchen, turkey in the oven and peeling potatoes._

_"Hey Dean, I need to drop by the store to get something, would you mind finishing these while I'm gone?" Sam grinned as he handed his brother the knife, "I'll be an hour or so."_

_By the time Sam got back the potato peelings were piled high in the sink and Dean had given in to wallowing in self-pity. He was deep in one particular hole of self-loathing when he heard Sam call him into the sitting room._

_He put the knife down and walked through._

_"Hello Dean."_

_Standing by the tree was Cas, he had been prodding the angel at the top inquisitively._

_"H..hey Cas, where's Sam?"_

_"He said he had to go outside for something."_

_Dean knew his brother, he was up to something, he could feel it._

_" I don't understand, why would you put an angel on top of a fir tree, I am quite sure that the pagan holiday celebrated with said tree has little to do with the birth of Jesus, let alone an angel…"_

_Dean couldn't help but smile, he walked over to him and looked at the tree, then back to Cas._

_"Do you like it though, the tree? We thought it would be nice for you to have a proper Christmas tree, you even have a present underneath it."_

_Castiel blushed "Thank you Dean but you know I have no need for material possessions"_

_"I think you'll like this one, I hope you'll like it at least"_

_Dean knelt down and picked up the smallest present in the pile, it was wrapped in shiny red paper with a little gold ribbon tied at the top. Castiel blushed again as he started to unwrap the little box carefully, Dean was amazed to see that he didn't tear the paper once. Once the paper was off, the angel opened it up, he frowned at the hunter, "Dean, how did you get hold of this?"_

_"I pulled a few strings, mine means a lot to me and I like to keep it with me so I thought you might like one of your own."_

_Castiel lifted the gift out of the box, he wrapped the string around his neck and toyed with the little bronze star hanging at the end of it. He smiled warmly and looked up at Dean._

_"Dean, you have no idea how much this means, how valuable a link to my Father is."_

_The angel stepped forwards as if to hug him but stopped just shy of the embrace. He looked at Dean intensely, "I don't know how to thank you."_

_Dean smiled and flushed red, "Cas, it's a present, the fact that it means so much to you is thanks enough."_

_Castiel looked at him thoughtfully for a moment then…_

_"Oh, I almost forgot!" he turned around and picked up a sprig of something from the table, "Sam told me to give this to you, he said you would understand."_

_Dean stared at the piece of greenery in his hand and frowned, why would Sam give Cas something like that, and why would he want to give it to him … unless …_

_Dean felt his face grow hot, his brother knew him a little too well apparently._

_"Cas I don't think you understand what that is"_

_The angel frowned and looked at the plant, "It's Santalaceae." Dean looked at him blankly, "I believe you would call it Mistletoe."_

_"Yeah, and it's tradition at Christmas here for … for people to kiss under some hanging mistletoe, but it's just a silly tradition, no one does it any more…" He trailed off as Cas' face fell slightly_

_"Oh, I see."_

_"Unless you'd like to hang it up Cas, if you want to…"_

_Dean felt his pulse quicken, he blushed again. Cas stepped towards him and clicked his fingers. Dean looked up at the mistletoe now hanging on the ceiling. He was so close now he could feel his hot breath against his neck, he could see each dark eyelash surrounding his inhumanly blue eyes._

_"Yes Dean, I want to."_

_The next thing Dean knew his lips were on his angel's, they were soft and warm, he felt a rush as he kissed back. Dean ran his hand through his dark hair, pushing his tongue playfully into Cas' mouth. The angel groaned a little pulled him close. Dean laughed gently and reluctantly pulled away._

_"Hey Cas", He looked into Castiel's eyes, they were so full of hope and warmth and… love. His eyes were full of love. "I think I love you."_

_"I … I think I love you too Dean._"

His thoughts were interrupted by slow, dreamy guitar chords. Dean had suggested he should enter to 'Bat out of Hell', Castiel didn't find it funny. Thankfully he had liked the Stones riff and had compromised on Wild Horses. Dean turned around to see his angel standing at the other end of the room, his suit was a startling white but his hair was as dishevelled as always. The blue really did match his eyes, Dean mused. Cas smiled at him as he walked down the aisle and he felt his whole body shiver. He grinned, yeah so this was pretty chick-flicky but he didn't care, he was happier than he had ever been before. All nerves forgotten he took his angel's hand in his and kissed him gently on the forehead. This was definitely a perfect moment, and one he would never forget for as long as he lived and more.

**End.**


End file.
